B to D to Back to Me
My boobies … they have a story. A story that has been many years in the making. I’ve decided to share this story – this journey – publicly to bring awareness, to help others who either already have implants or are considering getting implants, make the best-informed decisions for themselves. Because what I’ve learned very recently is something that isn’t talked about much. And the majority of plastic surgeons will never even mention it to you.
I started 1997 as a 32B. In March of that year, I became a 34D (even though I had requested to be a “C”) by way of saline breast implants, 350cc, under the muscle placement. At the time, silicone implants were banned by the FDA with the exception of individuals enrolled in a study on them. Saline was the safe implant. I was told at my consult that, should they ever rupture, my body would absorb the saline (much unlike what happens when a silicone implant ruptures) and there would not be any health issues related to that.
Without getting into why I got implants in the first place (I will be writing a book that will get into much more detail than this blog post will – but, in a nutshell, I didn’t love myself), I’ll just say I never got them for me. And while I didn’t hate them, I never would have done it had I been resolute in who I was as a person at the time. Honestly, back then, my twenty-six-year-old self loved the attention I got from them. I loved having people look at me, and secretly hoped that many envied me, and I wholeheartedly believed it was the key to preventing my at-the-time husband from being unfaithful (didn’t work, by the way); I could not be more opposite of that young woman today.
I do not remember exactly when I started regretting having them. But at some point (I estimate about fifteen years ago), I did. Ever since then, I have been telling myself and a few people in my life that I wanted them out. They are too big for my frame (even though I kind of grew into them from about 2017 until very recently as I’ve reached a healthy weight again), they have caused a constant “high beams are on” effect that has led to me only being able to wear padded bras, they are too heavy, and finding a good fitting bra has not happened in all of the years I’ve had them. They simply don’t fit who I am as a person – physically or otherwise.
Three years ago, I went back to the surgeon who put them in for me. I told him I wanted them removed, along with all of the reasons why. Rather than hearing me, he suggested I have them replaced with smaller, silicone implants, have a lift done at the same time, along with some liposuction. I never went back.
Wanting these bags out of me is something I have thought about on a regular basis for as long as I have regretted getting them in the first place. But after that consult, I put it on the back burner – again. Having them removed was going to cost more than twice what having them implanted cost. And there were things in my life I prioritized over an explant – mainly traveling.
A few months ago, I made the decision that I will not travel much next year because there are other things I want in my life that meant traveling needed to be set aside a bit. Saving to have my implants removed is one of those things. My goal was to save enough next year to be able to explant either late next year, or early 2026.
About a month ago, something happened that made me know that I needed these implants out absolutely as soon as I could possibly get them out. I was listening to the Mel Robbins podcast (which I do often and highly recommend), and she was sharing her breast implant/explant story. This was the very first time I had ever heard the term breast implant illness, or BII.
Her story made me start looking into BII, and what I have learned in these short few weeks is shocking. BII is a diagnosis that can only be made by excluding everything else that can cause the symptoms. There is no lab test, physical exam or scan that can confirm it. Many of the symptoms are the same as you may experience with a variety of health issues. Most women who have BII not only don’t link the symptoms to their implants, they aren’t even aware that there could possibly be a link!! But for those who are aware, an astonishing number of them see drastic improvements in the weeks and months following breast implant removal. Fatigue, brain fog, and joint pain are among the most common symptoms, though the list is much longer. I have all three of these, along with transient pain in my left breast, and near constant itching in the same two spots on my right one for YEARS! I’ve also had to constantly clear my throat for years, which I discovered is another symptom, and I’ve been trying to catch up on sleep (even though I sleep well for a good seven hours regularly) for twenty years! Additionally, textured implants are linked to anaplastic large cell lymphoma – a type of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma (cancer).
I was also enlightened on the fact that saline breast implants are actually not safe. Not only are they a foreign body placed inside of you, the casing that holds that saline is … yep, you guessed it … silicone. And that silicone casing will 100% of the time eventually start to break down in your body. No breast implant is designed to be a lifetime device. No one told me that when I got mine. Never a word was mentioned to me.
How the Body Responds to Implants
When breast implants are placed, the body will form what is called a capsule around the implant, encasing it in what is essentially scar tissue. That is the body’s way of protecting you from this toxic object inside your chest. This happens regardless of the type of implant. Should the implant rupture (SO many of them do!), the hope is that all of the toxins remain inside this capsule. But sometimes, it does not.
Even if there is no rupture (which many women don’t even know has happened because when they rupture, the breast does not “deflate” like one might assume), the silicone casing absolutely will start to break down and becomes sticky and gooey – this is called a gel bleed. That goo is then right up against the capsule formed around the implant, and leads to parts of the capsule turning into what can be described as fish scales: it becomes this clear, hard yet flexible substance that is very much like a fish scale.
Because of this, it is extremely important to have this capsule removed should you ever go forward with removal of your implants. Many surgeons leave it behind; it makes the surgery much easier, and those surgeons who do not believe in BII see no harm in leaving it in place. If you are having only the implant removed, that can be done under local anesthesia and takes about five minutes per breast. Having the capsule removed is tedious and riskier because it adheres to the chest wall and ribs, and must be meticulously dissected from other structures. But it is absolutely necessary. Leaving a tainted capsule behind is no different than leaving the implant in.
So, should you ever decide to explant, you need to find a surgeon who not only believes in BII, but who will also perform what is called an en bloc explant, which is where he/she removes the implant and capsule as one unit (en bloc), rather than cutting through the capsule to remove the implant. This prevents any contamination inside the capsule from spilling into the chest cavity.
Where I’m At
With all that I’ve learned about BII in recent weeks, I knew I had to get my implants out yesterday! It has moved to spot number one on my list of priorities. I did my research and found a surgeon in Georgia who does en bloc explants. He is in Atlanta – my least favorite place of all places I’ve ever been. But he’s the closest to me and comes highly recommended. I had my consult with him yesterday, and will get a call from his office Monday with my surgery date, which will be sometime before mid-December.
I have another friend on this same journey. She is considering going public with her story as well. We both hope to help others with this knowledge, even if only one person is reached.
If you want to know more about what implants do to your body, I encourage you to watch Dr. Khan on YouTube. He is phenomenal. He is an explant specialist and only does explants. If he wasn’t so far from me, I’d be getting him to do my surgery (he’s in Michigan). You can find him here.
I will continue sharing as my journey progresses, but feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions at all. I am happy to guide you as best as I can.
Want a visual to see for yourself? You can see it here.
